Sense, Sway, Sync: Tilly Lawrence, BSN, RN, on the Vagus Nerve, Co-Regulation & Learning to Be Human

On this episode of The Care2Grow Show®, Dr. Larry Arbeitman welcomes Tilly Lawrence, BSN, RN — a scientist, futurist, and former PICU/NICU nurse who led a federally funded virtual interventional trial using vagal nerve modulation and sound augmentation technology to help alleviate symptoms of long COVID. She's the creator of Vagal Intelligence and the Sense. Sway. Sync. methodology, and will share her journey on the TEDx Bessies Creek stage this summer under the theme "Be Human."

In this episode, they discuss:

Tilly's decade in PICU and NICU nursing, the burnout that came from repeatedly running codes on critically ill children with no time to process, and why she eventually moved into clinical research.

The personal crisis that changed everything: her daughter's years-long battle with cyclic vomiting episodes, and how Tilly's own PICU-trained "emergency mode" nervous system was unintentionally being transferred to her daughter during care.

How learning the polyvagal theory and consciously shifting her own nervous system state cut her daughter's six-day episodes down to a day and a half — a real-world example of how a caregiver's physiological state shapes the person they're caring for.

A clear breakdown of the three states of the polyvagal theory: ventral vagal (safe, open, able to heal), fight-or-flight activation, and dorsal vagal shutdown (freeze, numbness, disassociation) — and why so many patients arrive already stuck in one of the latter two.

Her Sense. Sway. Sync. framework: how providers can regulate their own nervous system first (sense), use presence and body language to help shift a patient's physiology (sway), and ultimately reach a state of true co-regulation with the patient (sync).

Why provider self-regulation isn't a soft skill but a clinical tool — backed by research from Compassionomics showing a 40-second compassionate statement measurably reduced anxiety in oncology patients.

A real example of disconnected, rushed care in action, and why "fast food healthcare" leaves both patients and staff dysregulated.

Her upcoming TEDx Bessies Creek talk (July 18) on the theme "Be Human," and her vision for bringing Vagal Intelligence to practitioners, educators, and school systems.

A lightning round covering her care philosophy in one word (believing), the person who's shaped how she cares (her father), and finishing the sentence: "Care is... believing."

About Tilly Lawrence, BSN, RN

Tilly Lawrence, BSN, RN, is a scientist, futurist, and former PICU nurse who successfully led a federally funded decentralized/virtual interventional trial using vagal nerve modulation and sound augmentation technology to help alleviate some of the 200+ symptoms of long COVID. She is the creator of Vagal Intelligence, a framework for the science of human co-regulation, and the Sense. Sway. Sync. methodology that puts it into daily practice. She is also a mother of three, whose own experience has shaped and reframed how she understands care, resonance, and what it truly means to be human. Tilly will share her journey to Vagal Intelligence on the TEDx Bessies Creek stage this summer, under the theme "Be Human."

Connect with Tilly Lawrence

Website: vagalintelligence.com
Instagram: @tillylawrence
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/tillylawrence

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